Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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