so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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