No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize