I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
