I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The air was thick with penises
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I enjoy the company of your penis
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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