I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
