Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
