last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
