I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
