please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
