But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Fuck appropriateness.
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I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
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