how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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