It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
