Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize