Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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