Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
false alarm. still invincible.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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