yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
