im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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