Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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