Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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