At least make sure they are 18
Why
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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