are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I got inside last night via doggy door
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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