sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
