The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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