Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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