Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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