Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
