singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm in love with you.
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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