I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
