Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize