I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
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I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
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She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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