i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize
