we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The feeling are messing with the penis
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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