His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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