hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
