When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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