I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
3 2 1 whiskey
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize