What a fucking waste of an outfit
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
