I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"