went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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