At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
