It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.