Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
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I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
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Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.