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Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
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