Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night