I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me