I would go down on you faster than GM stock
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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