mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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