apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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