I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Boobs speak an international language.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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