What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
