Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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