Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
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Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
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I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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