Who wears a wallet chain?!
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize