Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
