real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
this is an emotional support booty call
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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