never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
