We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
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It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
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I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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