You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
