Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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