hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
