I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
