Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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