We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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