You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
