I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
