Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
