tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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